We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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