Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Randomize
