Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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