If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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