You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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