Are we in a gay sports bar?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
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He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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