That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
please don't ironically join a cult
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