Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
We don't watch enough power rangers
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
