Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
