I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I walked into cold stone and the guy started preparing a supersized birthday cake remix for "Mrs. Munchies"
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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