Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
