i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
