I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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