And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
