is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
