Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
