I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Mom said you looked used
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
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