Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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