do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
Randomize
