We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
Randomize
