some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
