Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
