Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
