You made me cry and you don't even care
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize