I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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