If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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