Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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