The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
