In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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