Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
