Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
