you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
