We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I got inside last night via doggy door
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
