you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
