Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Randomize
