thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
