My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
Randomize
