I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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