it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
