Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
