Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
this boner is exhausting
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
If I die, sorry about rent.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
