Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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