So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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