I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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