Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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