I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
