just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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