We won't sleep together?
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
