Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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