So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Randomize
