Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
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