ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
