how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Randomize