I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
