"it" just moved
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
