I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i just google imaged poop.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
