Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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