Yo dont text me then not text me
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
Randomize
