Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
