what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
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