I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
This is my life. Enjoy the view
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
