I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
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