Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
