bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Do you remember whose house we're in?
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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