I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Randomize