All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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